There wednesday 30th april. there were no elephants on the wall. i went with richard and alex and nick and hayley and becky and claire on the bus. It was a journey and we walked to a house alexandra park road. Writhe. Lulu wants me to model for her but i want to go to a recital of danielle. Marco wants me to go to camden but i want to go to a recital of danielle and do some writing and organising and perhaps watch a film at the same time with music. Michael makes omelette. that he says should use 2 eggs. I was looking for names in my text , my 16 page text that i displayed with my work. Hayley Dixon was looking for names. They went to the wall she is using for the exhibition which should happen tomorrow. I feel bad. I think sam is lovely but I can’t seem to get more into it. I like friends more. anything more feels strange and I don’t like that the time thing, there are lots of other things that I would like to be doing rather than sit stand lie sex. Whenever I do something like write or paint or draw or talk.. i want to do more of it or something else. THat makes me smile but it is frustrating. right this moment I want to paint on some canvas thing for my sister for someone else. I am sad that claire will not be there for 13, she has an exam. I want to learn how to frizbeee> i am not a wadhamite. I think I would like to be. I was talking to someone the other day and I like to look and be critical of the works on display. I amwas shocked at my reaction to some of it..explanations and how it is hanged or not. I would talk about relationships with people, some are just easier than others. most comfortable seemed to be at last night with the fine art students. makes me say what I am thinking even when I don’t usually even want to believe myself. aargh. I mean.. not what i’m thinking.. what i’m feeling perhaps. Is that right. I tell and talk what is inside.. not all the stuff that one can think around an issue to hide and disguise. I want to see now tomorrow the film that Michael has made using the models and cameras going in and around. I painted the floors and the walls and it makes me happy the social situations instead of a pub or and club that could have happened otherwise. Brendonan talks i’m not doing it for anyone but myself. perhaps this is right but i like to make others happen the happiness too. that makes me happy. so not entirely for myself. I seem to have that conversation with karl before lots.
I should have a break. from form ofrom. It’s just a bit of foil from the tea thing, libby. coffee stirr, me. I’d be in the middle somewhere masculine feminngingign. attractive people. the tea thing.pull and stretch does viv. He wants it all his way. These two films i’m gonna show you have been proofed twice but i want to proof it again. the tea thing does alex does. viv leg wobble. This place is an entirely different atmosphere than the canteen thing. there is a speaker and mny eyes on him though they are just sitting and standing. he is not addressing them.. just one person.some eyes on my ike they are all waiting for it to happen. Fuck shit!! 8f88**8 (with one syllable) a short film by ufuk gokkaya. I think he could be the guy who is sitting next to me.
Names. People love names. holy. too much attention . fac3book. love it. make sm me lauhg out loud in the real sense fo mo. yummy . hahahaha. lists of names i made many lists.
Guy sherwin.
i missed it.
i would say to richard that it was like if i fancied some fish and chips but someone offered me chips. I wouldn’t turn it down.
10may 2008 today. Yesterday, Ten then gate.
jewellery I liked the plastic doll rings.
The common room now. i want to use my phone but cannot find the memory card adapters. I have two but can’t find either. I sat in the garden and put sticks together while lisa and melissa wait for bus van to the science museum.
Today i wanted to relax mostly and do some work of write and tidy the room upstairs in the sky of trent park. What will be the living situation for me in the coming few months. I think today some washing too and dr who. I drank some water and ate some muesli. is there a clock and piano there or here on a public building. . I brought a pice of paper down to the cmmon room. . I want to work on the bar at the thirda year show on thusrssrsday on the third ayear show. I will wear a white shiret if i go. I want to go soh shopping tomorrow fo for fruit and food. . He beat me at bowling which is not great. Hoome is strange thing. I can’t tell really what where who it all is. so many people.. it feels like suvi and claire and rosie.. and lists and my family. How confusing.
I find steph and she is watching harry potter next to me. She doesn’t want to move in with jooel. I don’t want to rush into any new accommodation in the next few weeks . i would ideally like to wait until july and august as my room is rented until the start of september. I might go and read some books. i am annoyed aaargh annoyed that i have library books and fines. I need to go to the bank and get a job too on monday t. that will be he day. i should do some washing too. what do you think of your slelelelele/s/? steph is back on monday. I just got some pepsi. Steph’s gone sex. I fell asleep in the commond rooom. I would have liked to have gone to a cake viva cake but i don’t think i’m up for it and money is slim today . oh well. perhaps another time. I think i saw plenty of those fine art people anyhow... also I’ll be seeingt them hem on thursday. Step
